you know those people that can literally carry on a conversation with anyone are amazing like wow how do you do that
humans are very interesting because no other creature has gone through years of evolution to be this stupid
sometimes a sloth’s metabolism can slow down so much it can starve to death with a full stomach
leonardo dicaprio’s relationship with the oscar’s is just like my relationship with boys
you deserve one but they don’t appreciate your talent
This is humor right here.
I had a really small period and I was like “maybe I just miscarried a tiny fetus” and then I realized I haven’t had sex since Columbus landed in the Americas
I realize this sounds like I fucked Columbus. I want to clarify. Just so there’s no confusion, I did. I did fuck Columbus.